Observations

What is a lie?? 

Is it a lie when we don’t tell the entire truth, is half a truth a lie??

Or a lie is only when we do not tell the truth at all. 

In life, I have told half truths as I don’t want to worry the family or when the truth does not really matter to the entire journey of their life or to protect them. 

But I have seen couples who are in a relationship or going into a relationship/marriage not reveal their medical history. I call this half-truth a lie as it affects the life of the other person.

Life being what it is today, we are all a mixed bag of diseases and medical problems. I do not see a valid reason to hide the truth. Human beings are resilient and love encompasses life. 

Every human being has the right to decide their future, especially when dealing with a would-be partner’s medical problems. I find that it is better to be honest from the very beginning rather than wait till cracks appear in the relationship when the truth is revealed.

Most of the times, people will surprise us by being more accepting. We need people who accept us along with all our problems, to make life worth living….

Hiding the medical truths would only complicate life especially when support is needed during a crisis, especially from a partner… 

In India, I would advise couples to match their medical history rather than their horoscopes. 

Love is blind, but being practical and truthful to our partners, would help both life and love and in making an informed decision with both eyes open. 

I believe in this and I have always lived by this principle… 

70 thoughts on “Observations

  1. I agree. Medical issues are very vital points, and hiding it from the person you want to spend your life with is just wrong. Some keep it for fear of sending the partner away…buy who says when he finds out he wouldn’t leave you, or better yet, stick with you and live miserable lives together.

    If the person is not understanding, then to hell with the person. Not everyone can deal with particular medical issues, especially when you bring children into play, but at the end of the day, it’s the decision on the both of you. Hiding that is just trapping him.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Again, I stand by my line, truth is truth, its doesn’t have an relative. A person having blood pressure issues is a person having blood pressure issues. Nothing is relative here. When we make it relative, we are lying to ourselves

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      1. Hahaha yipee I didn’t sleep… I didn’t listen to everything which was being said… I heard some, I blogged some, I read an ebook but Michael I didn’t sleep hehehe😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Haha that’s fine. I am an anesthesiologist so I don’t cut open per se, but without me, no surgery can happen.. So I kind of boss over my surgeons

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    1. True… But it’s more being honest. I always tell a prospective parter if things are getting serious what problems I have. So that he can make an informed decision. And likewise I expect him to be honest so that we both know what we are getting into.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi. This is such a thought-provoking post. I agree with you, I tell the truth for most everything in my life; occasionally I will withhold information if it’s not relevant or harmful or will cause a reaction that makes a situation worse.

    When it comes to medical history, it seems pretty important to be honest and upfront before a relationship gets more than a casual date, and definitely when nearing a road to serious. When you’re already in one, and pledge commitment / marriage, you really need to share it or you are in a way breaking that vow.

    Great post. Now I have to go read all the responses to see if I’m in the majority or minority of your responders.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can totally relate with this. I had a medical condition that a lot of people are not aware of. Just family and close friends. It is something I’ve been fretting about it when I met my husband. The moment the relationship became serious, I immediately told him about my condition because it is something big for me and will somehow affect him, too. I feel like I owe it to him the truth no matter what it will cost me. Fortunately for me, he still chose to be with me. 😄

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is so beautiful Des, please convey my regards to your husband for being so broad minded and nice. I have a couple of medical issues along with inability to have kids, so I always tell my dates honestly, if they accept then I go further otherwise I back off.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks, Shalini! He really is. 🙂 I am so sorry about your condition. I understand how hard it must have been for you to go through that. I am also glad that despite that you are still so positive and good disposition about it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Des, this is life, we are all given our crosses to bear… I had so many dreams… Slowly life took most away… So I stick with what I have but I am hoping that someday somewhere, someone fulfills my wishes…

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      3. I get what you mean. I’ve had so many opportunities come my way only to be snatched away. I was diagnosed with Hepatitis B when I was 19 right after graduating from college. Just like that my dreams were shattered. Companies were rejecting me because of my condition until I gave up trying. I was demoralized. But thank goodness I have friends who helped me in that sad moment.

        You have a great outlook on life, Shalini. I wish you the best. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Thank you Des for sharing your life with me. Let me know if you don’t want to make this comment public.. I will delete it,if you say so.
        I try Des but I have good days and bad days.. I suppose that is life.. Let me know if I can ever be there for you as a friend and as a doctor

        Liked by 1 person

      5. That’s okay, Shalini. I don’t really mind. 🙂 I am actually negative of the virus now and truth be told I don’t know how it happened. For the past five years, I avoided going to the doctor because I’m scared. After moving to France, it was my husband who pushed me to have myself checked again. I am still baffled about it but I don’t really question why. I will take it. 🙂

        Good days and bad days will always be part of life for sure. No one’s immune to that. 🙂 Thanks a lot, Shalini. Blogging and the people behind the blogs really helped me a lot. I don’t have much friends I can talk to and you guys are all amazing. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      6. That’s great. And hepatitis is caused by virus so if you have a strong immunity your body fights and you develop antibodies to that virus and so you slowly become negative. So don’t worry, you will have life long resistance to it. We doctors take vaccine for developing those antibodies. So don’t worry about it. Forget that phase and get on with your life and live happily forever as in fairy tales. All my best wishes to you

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Thanks a lot, Shalini. Things would have been so much better had my doctors were as nice and so easy to talk with as you. But you are right, all of that is behind me now. I wish you all the best as well. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Don’t be sorry Des. Life is like that… We can just live our circumstances no use thinking about what we can’t have… I have my moments of despair… But they come at midnight and go away by sunrise

        Liked by 1 person

  4. This is a very good topic Shalini. I agree that medical issues are very important and should be honest with your partner about. I feel that if you can’t trust someone that you shouldn’t be with them because it’s just not a healthy relationship. I think when you are in a relationship or care about someone you should be honest with them but I also understand the point that some things may be private and we might need time before we discuss. For example, I know when I when I went through chemotherapy and was sick with cancer, I found out by myself. I didn’t tell my loved ones at first because I needed time to explore my options and get my head straight. I didn’t exactly lie but I wasn’t open about it at first. I was filled with emotion and scared. I didn’t know which way to turn. I needed a little bit to let in sink in what was happening to me before I devastated my loved ones. I was scared and felt telling my children’s parent that it would cause them a lot of issues because their health condition could be aggravated by stress. I told them but I took some time to get my head straight. I usually am always a very honest and real person but during that circumstance I felt that I had to get my head straight and let it absorb if that makes any sense? But anyways, this is a great post Shalini and very though provoking. Thanks for sharing!💖😎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, some things need to be sorted out in our minds before we can share. But before starting a relationship or a marriage it’s better to be honest. I have a couple of health problems, when I realize things becoming serious, I tell the guy, in fact I sometimes tell the guy before I date… Why lead them down a false path. I prefer honesty.. I get a weird feeling when I lie. So I keep to truth

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree Shalini! That is very wise of you. I have quite a few health problems as well and am disabled. I try to be honest and upfront and I agree especially before a marriage. That is very important information and your partner deserves to know that information so they can make an informed decision about the relationship. I mean we have to know what’s going on because health concerns not only effect is but our loved ones!😀

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I agree, I have a heart problem and can’t have kids.. I tell it upfront. I don’t find a need to lie about health. In this world, we all have something.. Better to be upfront.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. We all have our crosses to bear.. Not a big deal… Life happens. I used to cry before now I let it go.
        Que sera sera
        whatever will be, will be
        The future’s not ours to see
        Que sera sera

        Liked by 1 person

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