Pain

(Pic from Pixabay)

I have come from the ashes of my soul

I have burst through the pain to become whole…

I have lived and died everytime I was screamed at

I have cried so much that the tears soon dried up…

I fought for a life when life was suffering

I cried for a life when life was hurting…

I smiled when my insides were crushed

I laughed when my dreams were destroyed…

I have seen my loved ones writhing in humiliation

I have seen them cry in frustration…

I have seen when respect is thrown

I have seen when happiness is torn…

I have seen when tears are revelled in

I have seen the eyes shed blood down…

Each day, each breath was made torturous

Every moment, every minute was made suicidal…

One word was what it took

For the tempers to burst on all of us…

We never knew what would cause the trigger

We never knew why it grew bigger…

We knew it would be every other week

We knew somewhere we would break…

We lived in fear, and fear covered us

We cowered on the days, with the threat over us…

Death was to be chosen till death refused

Life was to be dealt but somewhere we hoped….

We lived, and we survived, we never took for granted

We were all women of strength but always taunted…

I am in pain, the pain not for me

I am in pain, the pain for the younger me…

How does a man abuse his wife for decades

How does a man kill the smile of his daughters..

We are women, from us, you are born

How can sons be held oh so higher then…

I grew up in pain, my pain grew with me

I grew from my tears, my anger shielded me…

I fought back when I grew a spine

No more, nobody hurts me and mine…

But that took years and decades

The scars remain, nothing fades…

But the pain of those years sometimes bursts through

The words come, when the feelings brew…

I write today, not because I want sympathy

I write because I am forced to write…

The nightmares would come asking why me

The questions would start why for some…

Women are inferior

And men superior….

49 thoughts on “Pain

    1. Angelina, just some memories of times gone.
      Today I opened one of the Pandora’s boxes of my life, and one such memory flew out.
      I knew the pain inside would hurt me, so I had to let go of it as words

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much Angelina. Appreciate your virtual hug. Words are cathartic so I write sometimes. Your care in your words have helped me. Thank you so much.
        Pandora’s boxes have been tricky from the ages past…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You’re welcome, happy to brighten your day.

        My life for the past couple of months has been an open pandora box. One big problems rises after the next, it’s exhausting. I haven’t been part of the blogging much because of it which makes me sad. Buy hey a black line has to end sometime.

        Hopefully your black line ends soon, too!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Mine has ended but sometimes memories pop in and visit…
        I am sad to hear, things have been difficult but I know you are strong, you will pull through.
        I believe real world is more important than blogging world, so first sort that out. Blogging world is always there. This is purely my belief

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Not quite sure how I feel after reading your touching words, I’m in love with this poem! Oh yeah it’s been ages, I miss interacting with your wonderful soul. How’re you? Hope life’s treating you well cause you deserve all the best xx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh Hajar thank you for your kind words. I wrote about a memory which was hurting me.
        I am okay. Life has its own ups and downs. How have you been?
        Thank you for your kind wishes

        Like

    1. It is just the truth sometimes. We daughters want what you have written but sometimes we get what I have written.. Fact of life.
      But it was a dramatic moment when I wrote my piece and your like had come on another review, so I checked out your words and I had to smile at the contrariness of it

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree with you Shalini. We dont have control over life or people who surrounds us. What we have control on is on ourselves. I see that this made u stronger than before…made u realize how important a parental love should be in shaping a child’s life.
        And let me tell u one thing our both version coexists Shalini…Ur version is what u experienced and my version is a follow up of how u feel for ur kids. It is certain that you have given ur whole world to them.
        So yes the truth is filled with agony on one side and love on the other…

        Liked by 1 person

  1. A truly beautiful poem,Shalini..it describes so well what most woman go through in life.I love the words’we were all women of strength’!Try to let go of the past and the hurt, my friend.This moment,this beautiful moment called ‘present’ is all yours and the future too! Keep your spirits up!
    Sheela

    Like

    1. Sheela, these are just memories, they come they go. When they become words, they lose their effect on me. To me it becomes cathartic. I don’t dwell on these memories. I agree, Most women have gone through this, where sons are preferred.
      This was just a memory, which came to rest, I transformed it into words and it went away.
      Thank you so much for your support. And your words of encouragement.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility.” Wordsworth

    I am deeply moved by the words, and also by your wounds that can make you express so much pain. But the way you have released its hold through this poem is remarkable. Beautifully expressed how women suffer silently through ages.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. I don’t read much of poetry so I didn’t know Wordsworth had said these. Thank you for his words.
      I can’t write poetry, it’s only when there is an overload of emotions and I know those memories are going to hurt me, then I write, it becomes poetry, I have no idea how. They are just lines initially so that the pain goes.
      Thank you so much. You have expressed your words far better than I can say anything.
      I have a few Pandora’s boxes which I don’t open, when I do then writing is the only way which does not allow nightmares to occur or the pain in my soul to drag me down. This is my second box opened here. First was many months ago. That I haven’t gone back to re-read. I am unable to. I read all my writing but some I am unable to. Some memories are just so….

      Like

  3. OH MY GOD. I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS I SO LOVE THIS.
    This was just . . . DOWNRIGHT AMAZING. No other word for it.
    You, my friend, are an awesome writer. Anytime you write more stuff apart from book reviews, don’t even think. Just share it here. 😀😁😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Shreya, thank you so much. I write only when memories of the past comes and to prevent the pain it brings, I write. I don’t open too many of the memory boxes at once as I get depressed so sometimes rarely I do. Then I write away the pain.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh Shreya, you write about books. And I hope and pray and wish that you never see such darkness in your life. So my darling girl, I wish you loads of happiness, love and luck for your exams

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much. Some days I write when memories trouble me to avoid getting nightmares. I find writing releases the pain a bit, so it doesn’t become too toxic. Thank you once again

      Like

  4. Wow! I’ve dealt with both child abuse and DV and understand the pain and scarring they leave. I’m blown away by how wonderfully you express it! Thank you for giving people like us an outlet through your words.
    Truly incredible!

    Liked by 1 person

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