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Book Review Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski

Diving into “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski, we’re introduced to a groundbreaking exploration of women’s sexuality. The book, in my opinion, is as enlightening as it is empowering.

Nagoski writes in a friendly and inviting way, making it easier for readers to understand the often complicated topic of women’s sexual health. She breaks down old myths and offers new views on how women can feel good about their sexuality.

Shalini's Score

Rooted in Science

Nagoski’s approach is rooted in science yet presented with a remarkable accessibility that resonates deeply. She uses the Dual Control Model as the foundation to explain sexual response, emphasizing the interplay between accelerators and brakes in our sex lives. What makes Nagoski’s work stand out is her ability to translate complex biological and psychological concepts into relatable insights. Her discussions on emotional intimacy, stress, and the impact of societal pressures on sexual self-esteem are particularly impactful.

Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
  • Nagoski Ph.D., Emily (Author)
  • English (Publication Language)
  • 400 Pages – 03/02/2021 (Publication Date) – Simon & Schuster (Publisher)

“Come As You Are” is not just a book; it’s a journey towards self-acceptance and sexual empowerment. Nagoski’s inclusive tone ensures that readers of all backgrounds feel seen and understood. While the focus is primarily on cisgender women’s experiences, the themes of emotional well-being and self-exploration are universally applicable.

However, the book isn’t without its limitations. Nagoski’s emphasis on cisgender women’s experiences means that some readers might find the discussion less relevant to their sexual well-being. Additionally, while the book is a beacon for understanding female sexuality, it lightly touches upon the experiences of transgender individuals and those going through menopause, chronic pain, or disability.

Emily Nagoski, with her academic background in health behavior, brings a level of expertise and passion to the topic that’s both refreshing and necessary. Her work is a testament to the power of understanding our bodies and embracing the diversity of human sexuality.

Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
  • Nagoski Ph.D., Emily (Author)
  • English (Publication Language)
  • 400 Pages – 03/02/2021 (Publication Date) – Simon & Schuster (Publisher)

Author Brief

Emily Nagoski is a beacon in the field of sex education and women’s health. With a PhD in Health Behavior, her work is at the intersection of science and sexuality, making complex topics accessible and relatable. Nagoski’s mission to educate and empower women about their sexual well-being has made her a respected voice in the field.

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
  • Nagoski PhD, Emily (Author)
  • English (Publication Language)
  • 304 Pages – 01/07/2020 (Publication Date) – Random House Publishing Group (Publisher)

“Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” – co-authored with her sister, this book delves into managing stress and emotional well-being.

The Come as You Are Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Science of Sex
  • Nagoski Ph.D., Emily (Author)
  • English (Publication Language)
  • 224 Pages – 06/11/2019 (Publication Date) – Simon & Schuster (Publisher)

“The Come As You Are Workbook” – a practical guide that complements her seminal work, providing exercises and tools for readers.

“The Dirty Normal” – an earlier work that sets the stage for her comprehensive exploration of sexuality.

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“Girls & Sex” by Peggy Orenstein – an exploration of the sexual landscape faced by young women today, based on extensive interviews and research.

“Come As You Are” is more than a book; it’s a movement towards sexual understanding and acceptance. Emily Nagoski’s compassionate and informed approach makes this work a must-read for anyone seeking to deepen their understanding of female sexuality.

Keep turning pages and dreaming big.


Is “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski suitable for all genders?

While “Come As You Are” primarily focuses on women’s sexuality, Emily Nagoski states that the concepts within the book apply to all genders. She encourages readers of all gender identities to explore the book, noting that understanding sexual accelerators and brakes can benefit anyone, regardless of gender.

How does “Come As You Are” address the diversity of sexual experiences?

Emily Nagoski emphasizes that a vast array of sexual preferences, experiences, and responses is normal. The book uses scientific research to challenge the traditional male-centric narrative about sex and desire, advocating for a more inclusive understanding of sexuality that acknowledges individual differences as normal and healthy.

Can “Come As You Are” help improve my sex life?

Yes, “Come As You Are” offers insights into the science of arousal and desire, providing readers with knowledge and tools to explore their sexuality in a more informed and compassionate way. Nagoski’s work encourages readers to understand their own and their partner’s sexual response systems, potentially leading to more satisfying and joyful sexual experiences.

Shalini (1)
My name is Shalini and I love reading a lot. On this blog I review most of the books I have read. Hope you enjoy.
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